7 months ago I wrote a post entitled “I’ve waited three years for this…” if you haven’t read it then click the link and check it out. It is a wee bit dark but it’s unsurprising given the subject matter. It was in essence the start of my realization that I was once again going down the road to depression. It is not a nice place and in some ways reminds me of the “upside down” from Stranger Things (brilliant programme by the way). In fact, if I could draw a picture of depression it pretty much would have been just like it. Since then I have been doing what I can to better myself, partly through my #24weeks posts; which let’s face it I totally failed to keep up with! Continue reading 7 Months on… …Living with Depression
The last few weeks have been, in simple terms, shit. It’s probably been the hardest period mentally since my epic downfall at university. This time has been no less graceful and in some ways worse. Honestly, I’m not sure what went wrong or why; all I know is it did. Trying to cope with it has been nothing short of Hell. That’s why the blog, my diet, the different tasks for #24weeks has all gone to pot. So I guess in the spirit of fighting on and frankly not knowing what the Hell else I can do to help myself. I guess I am getting back on the straight and narrow. So my task for week 1 – get my head in a good place. Continue reading Week ??? – Honestly I think this needs a reboot
“Because forever is way too long to throw away
When you have every single day of your life that things could change
Until forever, so put your demons in the past
Hold your head up high, don’t look back
Today is the start of your forever”
– Forever III (Young Lions)
These words have meant quite a lot to me over the past few weeks and more so in the past few days.
¡Hola! And welcome to week 3. I’ve always said that this is the period when I begin to struggle with anything I am attempting. This has very much been in the back of my mind all week. I had most certainly not kept 100% to what I have set myself. My mind has been clouded with a reasonable amount of self doubt. Those creeping feelings of failure are sneaking their way back in.
So my second Sunday of #24weeks has rolled around much faster than I thought it would. I have not touched a thing from my ditch list and I am actually quite proud of myself. Continued success is spurring me on to do more. Perhaps I’ve finally found a method for changing aspects of my life without getting completely overwhelmed by it all,giving up and succumbing to that familiar cold feeling of failure and guilt for not trying harder. So on wards and upwards. To the next step!
My mind is like a million different people are stood side by side. They all want different things, but I can only go one way. I’ve decided that that way is going to be my way. So if you’re reading this then there’s a good chance that you already have an idea what this #24Weeks thing is all about. If you don’t then in short I’m giving myself 24 weeks to change my life by doing something new and good each week or by ditching bad habits; and then keeping it going. So welcome to my first week of the new me! Continue reading Week 1… …So it Begins
It’s been two weeks since I officially opened up and started what has begun to feel like a new chapter of my life. I’ve been to the doctor. I’m back on the anti-depressants. In some ways it feels like a bit of a failure to have regressed. However, when I consider the difference it’s already made, I know there are only benefits to be had – and this trumps any feelings of failure.