7 months ago I wrote a post entitled “I’ve waited three years for this…” if you haven’t read it then click the link and check it out. It is a wee bit dark but it’s unsurprising given the subject matter. It was in essence the start of my realization that I was once again going down the road to depression. It is not a nice place and in some ways reminds me of the “upside down” from Stranger Things (brilliant programme by the way). In fact, if I could draw a picture of depression it pretty much would have been just like it. Since then I have been doing what I can to better myself, partly through my #24weeks posts; which let’s face it I totally failed to keep up with! Continue reading 7 Months on… …Living with Depression
I decided to give myself a little extra time over the last couple of weeks to get my head in the right place. Realistically that is the first step in any situation to actually get better. Without your head on board it realistically just isn’t going to work. I’m not going to lie not all the time has been easy, but it has been a hundred fold better than it recently has which is great. It would be naive of me to think that in the last two weeks that everything is sorted and that I’m all fixed. This kind of situation requires time, patience, a pinch of luck for good measure and people in your life that will have your back no matter what. I feel like for the first time that perhaps I have that. Or more importantly I had that all along and I just couldn’t see it. Continue reading Weeks 1 & 2… …The Reboot
“Because forever is way too long to throw away
When you have every single day of your life that things could change
Until forever, so put your demons in the past
Hold your head up high, don’t look back
Today is the start of your forever”
– Forever III (Young Lions)
These words have meant quite a lot to me over the past few weeks and more so in the past few days.
¡Hola! And welcome to week 3. I’ve always said that this is the period when I begin to struggle with anything I am attempting. This has very much been in the back of my mind all week. I had most certainly not kept 100% to what I have set myself. My mind has been clouded with a reasonable amount of self doubt. Those creeping feelings of failure are sneaking their way back in.
So my second Sunday of #24weeks has rolled around much faster than I thought it would. I have not touched a thing from my ditch list and I am actually quite proud of myself. Continued success is spurring me on to do more. Perhaps I’ve finally found a method for changing aspects of my life without getting completely overwhelmed by it all,giving up and succumbing to that familiar cold feeling of failure and guilt for not trying harder. So on wards and upwards. To the next step!
My mind is like a million different people are stood side by side. They all want different things, but I can only go one way. I’ve decided that that way is going to be my way. So if you’re reading this then there’s a good chance that you already have an idea what this #24Weeks thing is all about. If you don’t then in short I’m giving myself 24 weeks to change my life by doing something new and good each week or by ditching bad habits; and then keeping it going. So welcome to my first week of the new me! Continue reading Week 1… …So it Begins
It’s been two weeks since I officially opened up and started what has begun to feel like a new chapter of my life. I’ve been to the doctor. I’m back on the anti-depressants. In some ways it feels like a bit of a failure to have regressed. However, when I consider the difference it’s already made, I know there are only benefits to be had – and this trumps any feelings of failure.